Ballroom Blitz: Dancing to a Different Beat

If you've ever seen one of those teen movies about the school dance where the seemingly awkward guy hangs out on the wall, that was me a lot during those years. Not because I'm a librarian but because I can't dance well. 

In middle school, I hung out on the wall because the dancing that was popular where I went to school was a lot more like athletics than a slow dance – especially because no one was encouraging middle school youth to slow dance. Frankly, the dancing was so physical, I stayed on the wall because I was afraid of getting hurt or knocked over. 

Something amazing changed that in high school, the most barely mobile slow dance ever was introduced to me as an option by some of the ladies I hung out with regularly. I'm not sure that they know what a big deal that was for me. I was a teenager, so some of it was definitely that girls I liked would dance with me, but most of it was that I got to participate in the dance rather than sit on the wall. This may be the first time I've ever acknowledged that. 

I carried the “Special K” slow dance with me into college dances and other dance occasions. I can awkwardly fake a slow dance any day because I don't really move. I just kind of shift from side to side so I don't lose my balance.

In college and later when my friends started clubbing, I definitely had to fake my way through that. The upside and the downside about clubbing is that it's usually dark. The upside to the darkness is that people were less likely to notice that I wasn't really dancing, but just sort of moving around. The downside is that moving around in dark crowded spaces increases my risk of falling and my fall anxiety. I enjoyed the company I was with, but rarely the activity. 

In my twenties, I attended a number of indie concerts for alternative rock bands and inevitably a mosh pit would break out. What a fascinating ritual. For me it was time to find the wall again or at least a good distance from the mayhem. If every genre's concert could be at a sit-down jazz club, I'd be in heaven. The main reason I enjoyed my first concert, with the man who wrote the Hurricane, was because I got one of the few seats in the house. I dread standing room only. 

Dancing is an interesting physical challenge for me before I even factor in the social elements. Odds are, if you were ever on or near a dance floor with me, my first priority was keeping my balance, and my second priority was the social elements of dancing. This is why I enjoyed the slow dance shuffle and sway because I could actually share moments with people instead of worrying about falling. 

Similar to the way I learned to play guitar in a modified chord structure, I learned to dance differently focusing on dances I could enjoy without falling. I'd much rather just have conversations with people instead of doing anything that requires me to think about staying on my feet.