Living with Cerebral Palsy and Intersectionality

I don't want to inspire you with my disability and success. I want you to hear me and rethink how you engage disabled people. I don't want to inspire you with the things I've survived. I want you to hear and rethink what it takes to live a normal life under abnormal circumstances. If you're inspired by me, I'm genuinely grateful and you've also missed the point. I've written over 80,000 words on disability and complex trauma in context to contextualize a conversation that needs to be had so people like me don't have to climb mountains to live an average life. My life's not fancy and most of you probably wouldn't trade your life for mine, and I'm beyond lucky to have lived an impossible and improbable life.  “If you got a dream, chase I it ‘Cause a dream won't chase you back. If you're gonna love somebody, hold him as long and as strong and as close as you can ‘Til you can't, ‘til you can't” (Kid Rock, ‘Til You Can't). For ...

“Hold the door, say please, say thank you Don't steal, don't cheat, and don't lie I know you got mountains to climb but Always stay humble and kind” (Tim McGraw, Humble and Kind).  I wouldn't be who I am without where I've been. While I've lived through some challenging things, I also picked up a lot of good along the way. I actually like holding doors for people. At the church I grew up going to, there were a couple of thousand people in attendance every Sunday morning, and I would stand at the door and hold it open for people to come and go for several moments at a time. Sure, I was raised to hold doors open for people, to show respect, and to use my manners. Also, I really enjoyed doing that. I did it almost every Sunday that we went. I wouldn't hold it for just one or two people, I would hold it for several people. Those habits aren't just there, they're built, and made.  Having left the Church all together, there are certain things that I don...

My life today doesn't fit the one I used to have. “Tell my mother, tell my father, I've done the best I can, to make them realize this is my life. I hope they understand” (Shinedown, Second Chance). I changed my narrative from I'm not supposed to work and I can't work, to climbing the org chart through hard work, advancement, promotion, recruitment, and negotiation. I didn't settle for the first stop on my current career journey. I'm grateful for every stop on the way here because each of them gave me tools I use every day. I left a lot behind to do that. I left people behind, dreams behind, comfort behind, and even the top seat. I left my home, my family, my religion, and parts of my identity to build something different. The grass is not always greener, but I had to do it for myself and for the family I built.  In early editions of this blog, I talked about religious trauma a fair amount. Recently, I was watching Prodigal Daughter with Taylor Tomlinson on Netf...

Having a disability is expensive. Last year, I spent over $9,000 in out of pocket medical costs after insurance premiums. I'm relatively healthy and most of that cost is the maintenance required to keep me healthy. This year, I'm on target to spend a minimum of $6,000 on alternative transportation because I don't drive due to my lack of depth perception. That's $15,000 a year on health and transportation on the low end. That's before food, utilities, student loans for two degrees, or any other bills are considered. I've made career moves to stay on top of all of that because it's in the best interest of my family's stability (short-term and long-term). The last six years have been the most prosperous in my career and the most expensive (I know I'm not alone in feeling the impact of economic conditions).  I started taking the bus a lot more over the past year to attempt to reduce the alternative transportation costs. Taking the bus to and from work is...

“In 2025, 22.8 percent of people with a disability were employed” (U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics). To put that another way, almost 77% of disabled people are not working.  I was at a professional conference recently and a presenter noted the percentages of disabled workers and disabled adults with a Bachelor's Degree or higher. When I was growing up, there wasn't any expectation that I was going to join the workforce because of my disability. When I was in high school, my peers questioned that a lot because they could see what I was capable of every day and they also acted as if I wasn't disabled. Years later, I went to college on my own volition and knew I'd have to join the workforce to pay for my Bachelor's Degree. There was a deeply ingrained narrative in my head about my abilities and about working. I knew I was going against the odds and the narrative. When I heard how much the stats supported those odds, it gave me pause. I got curious and looke...

“Think about what you keep to yourself at work. You've spent your career not having that option with some of my identities, and choosing concealment with others. Who are you and what are you carrying?”  I was a 10-year youth ministry professional. I have surpassed 10 years as a library professional. I've done just about everything in my field, from the front desk to the director's chair. I've been promoted, have been recruited, I've been let go from ministry, and rebuilt with astounding fashion in libraries. Also, I am the product of familial dysfunction, the son of an alcoholic and a drug addict, and I live with a disability every day. All of that comes to work with me whether I want it to or not. There's no off switch for disability or complex trauma. It's there usually in the background, fighting for the foreground, and I have to find the balance every minute of the day. I went into youth ministry, silently because I could physically do the jo...